First Trimester of Pregnancy in Memes

Ahhhhh, there’s really nothing like the first trimester of pregnancy.  While everyone is a little different – and fun fact: women can have completely night and day experiences from pregnancy to pregnancy – first trimester is likely to be one of the most exciting as well as trying few months of your life.  If you’re in your first trimester right now (or would like to be) and want to know what to expect, this is for you.  If you’re no longer in your first trimester, first of all, CONGRATS – you made it through!  This is also for you to recount all of the crazy fun times (or not) that you had in your first trimester.  With no further ado, let’s dive in, shall we?

Finding Out You’re Pregnant

When you first find out you’re pregnant, that feeling is so insanely, exuberantly excited.  Whether you tried for 1 month, 1 year, or 5 years, you may not be able to believe that little old YOU (and your significant other of course) just created an actual HUMAN LIFE.  It feels like you’ve just won the Nobel Peace Prize or cured cancer or ended world hunger; in essence, you feel AMAZEBALLS.

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Peeing All.Day.Everyday.

If you’re like many women, one of the most common early symptoms of pregnancy is feeling the urge to go all.the.time.  In many cases, it’s fairly short-lived in first trimester, only to come back with a vengeance in the third trimester when your baby really starts edging you out of your own body.

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All Aboard the Nausea Train

Not too long after, shit gets REAL really quickly once you start getting those first pangs of nausea so be ready for it when some tactless jerk microwaves salmon at work (side note: dude…why?) and it sends you running to the ladies room.  Varying wildly between women, you may be puking 6x/day, everyday, like my dear friend Tara; you may be so insanely nauseous that you can’t stand the thought of eating anything, like me; or you may keep feeling like a ray of sunshine everyday in which case, the rest of us are insanely jealous, we hate you and we’re totally voting you off the island.  (Sorry; not sorry).

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Random Cravings Which MUST Be Indulged

When you DO actually feel hungry and develop cravings, they’re typically for foods completely out of left field.  FYI – It turns out that Jell-o pudding pops haven’t been produced commercially for something like the last 20 years but all you know is that you need one and you need one like NOW.  For you, it may be plain cheeseburgers or Oreos or everything bagels or DQ blizzards but whatever it is, no doubt you (and likely your significant other at times) will move heaven and earth to get what you want.

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Keeping Your BIG Secret

Continuing to go in to work every day when you feel like death is such a sham and you may be desperate at times to tell someone, anyone, just so you don’t have to feel so alone with such a BIG secret.  It’s entirely at your discretion but if you do find yourself in the camp of throwing up multiple times per day, every day, you may want to at least consider telling your boss if no one else.  This way, you can request to work from home when needed just to give yourself the privacy of puking your guts out in the comfort of your own home.

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Giving Up Alcohol

Don’t even get me started on how awkward it is to have to think up an endless stream of lies to tell to your friends and colleagues about why you’re not drinking on St. Patrick’s Day, at happy hour or any other perfectly good event which typically revolves around drinking.  If you can even stand the thought of having a beer, you’re in luck: there are actually a number of decent non-alcoholic beers on the market, including one that Paulaner makes which tastes remarkably similar to a shandy.  However, if you’re someone who has gotten used to having a glass of red nearly every night at dinner, the next 9 months may be tough for you; non-alcoholic wines do exist but they’re pretty awful and they’re still $8 a bottle which seems a little steep for what is little more than juice.  That said, it does the trick when and if you do get truly desperate (and if you’re anything like me, you will) for SOMETHING that even REMOTELY resembles wine for the love of god.

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Being So F!#king Scared of Everything

It’s true that women are at the highest risk of something going wrong during their first trimester which is one hell of a mind f!ck all on its own.  The hours you spend contemplating (and Googling) the endless things that *could* go wrong with your pregnancy can get excessive and can easily put the fear of god in you.  Then, if you want one more thing to worry about (because who doesn’t?), there are the “warnings” and “guidelines” that forbid you as a pregnant woman from doing most anything that’s fun or enjoying many everyday foods (deli meat, soft cheeses, coffee, chocolate) you may not have even realized will land you on the naughty list.  If you’ve joined a community or forum for pregnant women, on the one hand this *can* be a great resource but you should also be prepared to put your best Catholic face on and get ready for those crazies to dose you with a level of fear and guilt about seemingly menial things that would put even your priest to shame.

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Your First Ultrasound

With so much fear and worry abound, your first ultrasound where you can see that little beating heart on the screen is like breathing a sigh of relief.  There’s really no words that can describe how you feel after seeing your baby for the first time but this meme does a pretty damn good job.  That said, if we’re keepin’ it real, your baby at this point is really just a weird little alien-looking blob thing on the screen and is FAR from “cute” but chances are, you will be nothing short of bewitched by that image.  “WE’RE HAVING A GUMMY BEAR!” my husband joked (for realsies) during our first ultrasound.

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Hormones be a Ragin’

With your hormones ebbing and flowing so wildly throughout your first trimester, you’re likely to experience mood swings to the likes of nothing your significant other has ever seen before.  One moment you’re laughing hysterically, the next moment you’re crying and in the next moment you’re ready to rip your SO’s head off when he or she asks for your help in finding something that’s in plain sight for the 14th time.

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Doing Any Physical Activity, Ever

As if all of these super fun side effects weren’t already enough to drive a perfectly sane woman crazy, let’s add sheer and utter exhaustion into the mix, just for fun.  Going up a flight of stairs without getting winded is a thing of the past and no matter how much sleep you get, you will likely feel exhausted constantly.  Granted, I’ve always been an early bird but first trimester of my pregnancy took it to new heights y’all.  I’m pretty sure I was climbing in bed at 7:30 ok – SEVEN EFFING THIRTY – and still having to drag my sorry ass out of bed nearly 12 hours later when my alarm went off.

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All of this said, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.  Just remember that it doesn’t last forever; for the vast majority of women, their symptoms will begin to subside around week 12 or 13 as they move into the second trimester of pregnancy where there are a whole new slate of fun discoveries and challenges.  Want to see Second Trimester of Pregnancy in Memes?  Well you lucky lady, stay tuned: that’s coming very soon!

If this post resonated with you, please feel free to like, share and/or join in the discussion with comments below to share your memorable first trimester moments!  You can also bookmark my page and follow me on Facebook, Instagram and/or Pinterest to stay in the loop with new posts from Suburban AF coming your way every Tuesday.